This pressure comes from a variety of sources: parents, family members, teachers, friends, and yourself. Every child has a different life than any other child. I have to admit however that comments like that really do get to me because I wonder if we're making the right decision to have only one child. Having multiple children will not necessarily cause you to go bankrupt, but it is considerably more expensive to raise more than one child. Great piece and very hopeful.
I have 4 children of my own and need her support but the more support I am given the more enmeshment I feel. For the last 25 years, however, some scientific researchers persistently reject the negative impression against only children. The workload of parenting multiple children can easily create a frazzled parent who is at the end of his or her patience rope. Probably by helping to make me more dependant, childish, lazy, over sensitive, lacking initiative, no confidence doormat. Today we have 5 children adopted and biological ourselves. Some people are selfish, some people are bad parents, and some people are excellent parents. We are very strongly considering raising our son as an only child and will do our utmost to raise him in a well-balanced, independent, fun and carefree environment with just enough boundaries to give him direction, but not too many that he will feel suffocated.
Of course, all of you would be aware of China's one-child policy. The next day I faced the full force of her fury. Out of all 5 one is still in school I'm the only one with a job, car, apartment, stable relationship, and now soon to be mother. Bernice replies: My first response is please do not feel guilty there are a lot worse experiences than being an only child! My brother was born when I was eight, and my sister was born when I was 10. Therefore, being an only child can certainly have its advantages. This may explain why my brother did his best to drive my dates crazy.
Growing up you always wanted to be an adult and all the freedom that comes with being an adult. Siblings are absolutely no guarantee to have play mates or have fun, or have support for aging parents. Someone who has all the help in the world can not relate to someone who gets no help at all. Loneliness can become a new normal where you don't see yourself as being lonely and don't feel it, in which case you've adapted to the loneliness. I am not saying I wasn't loved - in fact it was the complete opposite - but the loneliness of being the only child nearly drowned me.
They wanted to have another child but could not. There may be many who may feel no stress at all and are able to take this pressure, real or perceived, within their stride. Families with only children may be able to budget for a private education if that is something important for them. My husband is a only born in his family and he has got good friends who are an extended family for us. I was searching through the articles as I am curious about my extreme need to be detached from my only parent but could not find anything relating to this in your posts. But is it selfish of parents to have only one child? They are able to be more grounded and focused on their single child. My one and only sister was born with Down's syndrome - she was 2 years younger than I.
I so so appreciate your sage advice to have a network and a plan. What I´m trying to say is, that forgiveness, love and faith in yourself will get you a long way, while envy and jealousy of your sibling will keep you from being truly happy with who you are. We might have higher expectations for life and love, but that also means we don't settle. I loved her to bits and while I would certainly not change the gift of having had her as such a special person in my life, it was tough. Some may choose adoption as a way to build their family. The blessing is being able to spend time with yours, but being able to leave at any time.
So I am thinking of having a second. One of the main advantages of being the only child is that your parents pay attention only to you. An only child may grow up to be susceptible to stress and have a controlling nature, says Pickhardt, due to his anxiety about making mistakes and his self-imposed pressure to meet high standards. There's this common myth that only children are just spoiled brats and that they get everything that they want and they're completely indulged. Each family's experience is individual, it has absolutely nothing to do with how many people are in it. Never mind the loneliness, the intense sense that we are, as onlies, the first and last, that we have no one to distract the ever peering eye, the constant need to rise to the occasion and dance monkey dance! Except the parental pressure one; that one is very true. Family dynamics of all kinds make for wonderful children, whether they have siblings or not.
I'm from a Jewish Background and you hear that so much from religious ones I'm not religious. Less chaos equals a calmer mom. And now you have to fix it while encompassing all these new opinions. The only pros I can come up with are that she will never be alone. They're Less Competitive Without siblings to fight with, only children may grow up with a pretty relaxed environment. I became an adult way too early as I would often go to events where I was the only child but on the other side of the coin I am also very childish with my younger cousins.